


The Noir Adventures of Dad Crocker

by sammytfp



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, First Person, I didn't write conversations w a typing quirk sorry, Other, journal style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 16:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13684992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammytfp/pseuds/sammytfp
Summary: Homestuck secret valentine for 2018! Make for @primtheamazing on tumblr, have a good day Prim!





	1. Chapter 1

Happy Valentine's Day Prim!

The Noir Adventures of Detective Crocker

10:2:????- Today, I have decided to continue on my adventures! As any good dad knows, Valentine's Day is approaching, which is a perfect time to make sure that everyone is comfortable!   
10:2:???? Cont- I have begun my expeditions! After reassuring Janey that I will be back, I have taken off into the world! My first stop will be the cafe, for a nice Java. Once I arrived, I found the wonderful sweet scent of baked goods and coffee. I glanced out a window, and watched two younglings begin to get into a scuffle.   
10:2:???? Cont.- After my dad instincts took over, I didn't have time to order anything! I rushed outside, with intent to stop the scuffle until I heard the cheerful jeers between them. As I recall, it went-

“Hah! I didn't know you were so good at this, Kanks!”  
A heavy sigh and more fighting. 

“Ugh, Damara! I have asked you not to call me that on several occasions.” I watched the young man throw some high kicks quickly, and her block and dodge every one of them. I could see the exhilaration in her eyes, she was clearly having the most fun she's ever had in awhile. 

“Fine, fine!” She did a rounding kick, smiling. “Just tell me when you wanna truce!” This statement earned her a scoff and slight smirk. 

“Oh please, Darama- I haven't even taken my sweater off.” His arrogance seemed to be well rooted in the idea, as he was hardly breaking a sweat as he kept his defensive moves up. 

I watched her land 3 solid punches to his chest, and their smiles growing wider. They obviously were having just a good jest, and it was turning into the best time of their lives. I pulled some Mandatory First Aid materials out, and waved them down. 

“Ah, hold on Kanny- someone needs us.” Darama stopped the fighting smoothly. 

“Ah! Hello kids! Sorry to interrupt,” I started, materials in hand neatly. “But I just wanted to make sure you rascals were prepared in case of an accident!” I smiled- holding the materials out to them. 

Kankri, as I understand his name, smiled and took them. “Ah! Well, thank you! These are sure to help us stay safe and well prepared, what a kind action of you to offer us these materials!” He started, before Darama cut him off. 

“Anyways, thanks! Can we like, get back to it?” She asked, obviously slightly bored. 

“Well, of course.” I replied. 

10:2:????- as I left them to it, I watched the two rambunctious youths exchange a quick kiss before going back to fighting. 

10:2:????: come to think of it, I should get home! Janey may be hungry by now! I'll Adventure a bit further next time. 

End Adventure logs.


	2. A Very Dad Crocker Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dad Crocker makes sure no one is alone for Valentine's Day!

10:14:????- Today, I will set out on another adventure! This time- my routine holiday check in to make sure no one is lonely! Call it kindness, but to me it's just that keen dadly instinct! I also should check on those youths from the other day, and make sure that they take proper care of any wounds they may have sustained. 

10:14:????- My first stop will be- the park! My dadly instinct tells me to make sure that any and all couples at the park are having a good and safe time! I also picked up some chocolates and cream sodas in case any youngsters are in need of some emotional support! Any good dad knows that Valentine's Day is complicated for trolls with their quadrants, but this means that people can be left out! Today's mission is simple! No one spends Valentine's Day alone, not this year and not any year so long as I can help it! I even have some other candy alternatives, in case someone does not like chocolate and would prefer something else! 

10:14:????- That reminds me! I must recount to you how much fun I had helping Jane fill out her Valentines cards that she made, all by hand! I helped her by making a list of everyone and folding the paper over neatly- as she claims she struggles with getting her folds straight. Although I believe that she could get them straight if she set her mind to it - as with everything she could ever want to do- I was more than overjoyed to help! I enjoy spending time with Jane, hearing her talk about her days happily. Nothing makes a dad happier or more proud than spending a nice night bonding with his girl. 

10:14:????- After I brewed my own nice steaming cup of java- black of course, and finished up my pipe- I set off to do my holiday checks! I wasn't very far in until Dave came running up to me, almost a bit frantic. He explained that due to unfortunate circumstances that fell on Jake- Dave gave his chocolates to him and now had nothing to supply his Valentine! While these gifts I had stocked up were originally for kids who were devoid of company, I felt it reasonable to supply Dave with some of my supplies. I gave him a few sodas and some heart shaped lollipops. As he dashed away- an action that could be deemed irresponsible while he was in his suit, he made sure to shout 

“Thanks Jane's Dad! You're the best!” 

Before running off, mumbling if he should set time back a bit so he wasn't late. That boy is certainly strange, but sweet to be sure. His earnest attempts to be friendly make me confident that he can bloom into a bright young man! 

10:14:????- Along the way, I had the pleasant surprise of running into Rose and Kanaya! Jane had mentioned something about them the other day, so it was good to check in with them! I had no worries these two young ladies were being plenty responsible- even as they started to roll around on the grass in what sounded like a tickle fight. Running into these two girls also gave me the chance to ask if there was anyone they might know if spending the day alone. They gave me the news that Jane, my very own daughter, had decided to throw a big party and invite everyone who might have wanted company. She was respectful to anyone who already had a date, but I was delighted to be informed of this. I decided that I should go donate the supplies I accumulated for anyone lonely to the party, and made my way over. 

10:14:????- I knocked on the door to be greeted by Jane’s smiling face. I handed her the extra candies and sodas, watching her smile grow wider. I glanced around to make sure everything was under control- and it was indeed! Jane gave me a great big hug, and smiled up at me. 

“Thanks dad!” She was elated, and I was glad she was spending time doing something she loved. 

“Of course, now I'll head back off before I crash your party.” I placed a kiss on her head, proud as ever of my girl.   
She waved me off, turning back around and shutting the door to continue to mingle. 

10:14:????- I returned home, reminiscing about all the good valentines days I had partaken in when I was younger. I have decided to end my log here for the day, great full I got to spend my day having a profitable adventure. 

End Adventure Log.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr URL is @flamant-flamingo if you want to see or ask for more stuff!


End file.
